Here’s one for that special lady

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain’t gonna break my heart in two
‘Cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

…

I’d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I’d rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ’til I die
Than spend one more minute with you