A short piece written for Tinkerspace Theatre‘s Headline Monologues event last Saturday.
<<huff>> I am so tired.
Itâ€™s cold, and itâ€™s dusty, and I just donâ€™t have the energy to get up and clean. I really should. I mean, itâ€™s been, like, eight months. But man, I just feel drained, like Iâ€™ve been here for fifteen years.
Havenâ€™t heard from my sister for quite a tick either. Arenâ€™t twins supposed to be close? We should be closeâ€¦ the two of us, a couple of bouncing babies who no one thought were going to make it past the first few months. But we sure showed them, didnâ€™t we? Maybe itâ€™s because sheâ€™s older? She was a real tomboy, always digging in the sand and doing her â€œexperimentsâ€. We were so tight for a while, but then she started kind of drifting away. Or maybe I didâ€¦ itâ€™s hard to remember now. I should have written some of this down. I donâ€™t even know where she is these daysâ€¦ could be on the other side of the world for all I know!
At least she got somewhere. Wow, that sounded bitter, didnâ€™t it? But, I mean, sometimes it feels like Iâ€™m just standing still, you know? Iâ€™m not really stuck, I just canâ€™t seem to move forward. Which is better than moving backward, I guess, butâ€¦ I donâ€™t know, it just seems like I donâ€™t have a plan any more. I know Iâ€™m capable of doing whatever I want, but the little voice in my head kind of just stopped telling me what to do.
You know what I need, is a little sun. Get the old batteries charged up, right? Wouldnâ€™t that be greatâ€¦ I could just stretch out and get a tan, maybe take an opportunity to phone homeâ€¦ that would really lift my spirits.
The more I think about it, thatâ€™s exactly what I need. Itâ€™s so frustrating just sitting here, waiting for something to happen. Iâ€™ve run a marathon already, I need to keep going! Hey voices, Iâ€™m here! Iâ€™m listening! Can you just give me some signal that youâ€™re still out there?
I am so tired.