Peter & Tink
Photo by Ed Jackman: Red Couch Diaries, Nuit Blanche London 2012 Playwriting workshop exercise
I participated in a playwriting workshop lead by Gil Garratt on Sunday morning. It’s the first “workshop” event I’ve been to where the participants have actually had to work—hard! But it was worth it just for the creativity exercises, feedback and discussion; there’s good reason Garratt was chosen as the PlayWrights Cabaret’s dramaturg.
The workshop lasted for three hours, and fully half of that was straight-up pen-to-paper writing, based on phrases, drawings and photos. I wrote several fairly abstract pieces—series of related thoughts, really, more than “plays”—but here’s what I came up with when Gil asked us to create dialogue for the characters in photographs he handed out. Every few minutes as we were writing he’d drop off hand-written index cards with phrases like “a poem” or “a lie”, and mock-Tarot cards with sayings like “There are no misteaks”; you’ll see their traces below.
Photo: A nearly-naked woman sitting/leaning on a well-dressed man’s lap, legs crossed, her back to the camera. His arms are awkwardly around her, trying not to touch her, fingers clenched.
- Patrick Those are great shoes. I can never understand how women walk in them without pitching forward all the time.
- June Well, I guess I put the lie to that, didn’t I?
- Patrick I suppose. But you were graceful until then. An icon.
- June An icon? Standing still, representing something but not actually being it?
- Patrick No, no… you’re quite beautiful. An image of perfection.
- June Until I fell over my own two feet. Umm… maybe I should get up now? The rest of the group need me for the finale, and I think people are starting to stare.
- Patrick What if I said no?
- June Would you?
- Patrick Maybe.
- June What if you said yes?
- Patrick I… don’t know.
- (together) What do you want (Patrick: me) to say?
- Patrick Meet me after the show?
- June I can’t. My fiancé…
- Patrick Just for a drink?
- June You don’t even know me.
- Patrick We’ve been sitting like this for five minutes now. That has to count for something!
- June I really need to get up. My leg’s starting to cramp.
- Patrick Meet me.
- June …One drink?
- Patrick One drink.
- June One drink.
- Patrick Until then, then. “‘Tis better to have loved and lost…”
- June Wait a minute. “Loved”?
- Patrick It’s… an expression.
- June You don’t know me. How can you love me?
- Patrick It’s an expression.
- June Yeah, an expression of love!
- Patrick You’re the one who threw herself at me.
- June That was an accident. A mistake.
- Patrick There are no mistakes.
- June Well, this was one. Let me go.
- Patrick You’re not happy.
- June That’s right. Let go of me.
- Patrick Not not happy here. You’re not happy out there.
- June You don’t know me.
- Patrick Tell me you’re happy. Honestly.
- June …
- Biff enters. [New photo: a smiling yet tough-looking one-eyed man]
- Biff Hands off, buddy.
- Patrick We’re having a conversation.
- Biff Hands off my girl, pal.
- June You have to let me go. He’ll hurt you.
- Biff You bet I will.
- June I have to do the finale.
- Patrick Look, sir… oh, I do apologize, I didn’t mean to call attention to your eye… I mean…
- Biff Get your paws off my dame!
- Patrick As soon as she answers my question.
- Biff Buddy, I’m going to give you three seconds… two… one…
- June No!
- Patrick No?
- June No.
- Patrick Sir, my thanks and regards. Madam, it has been a pleasure.
- Biff Get off him, doll.
- June No.
- (Patrick and Biff together) No?
- June No. I’m not going anywhere.
- Biff Get. Up.
- Patrick I think you should…
- June No.
- Biff Get up. Now-ooowwwwww!
- June Back off, or the next one won’t be to your foot.
It’s rough, but not terrible for an hour’s work, right? I’m pleased with it mainly because it’s a conversation that’s full of subtext, something that I’ve never felt I had an ear for. (And maybe I don’t, but it’s a start.) It’s also the first thing I’ve written completely without self-editing in a long time: the few scratched-out words on my page are just where I got ahead of myself and started writing the wrong part of the sentence. So, all in all, I think it’s a pretty successful exercise that I’m eager to repeat.
#JianInLdnOnt
25 Random Things About Me
In response to Pete’s list…
- I don’t blog as much as I used to. I’d like to say that’s because I have two other writing projects on the go—which I do—but they’re seeing about the same amount of output.
- I’m a mild-mannered computer geek by day, and a mild-mannered arts geek by night.
- I share a birthday with Al Yankovic, which pleases me greatly.
- Despite many years at university and in the software industry I’m not a coffee drinker. Can’t stand the stuff.
- I type two spaces after a period. It’s the right thing to do.
- I have an odd habit of mentally “typing” words and phrases, counting the number of letters, and subdividing them into groups.
- I love to drive.
- I was a competitive trivia game player in high school (and even late elementary school). The year our team won the provincial finals there weren’t nationals to go to.
- I learned to ride a bicycle on one of Ontario’s 400-series highways. Seriously. (Proof.)
- My favourite author? Harlan Ellison, hands down. Favourite (well-known) playwright? Daniel MacIvor.
- I played piano for about twelve years and trumpet for a similar period, but it’s been at least that long again since I’ve made a serious attempt to play either instrument.
- Black licorice. Not red. Yucch the red.
- I don’t own, and have never owned, a cell phone. This is as much due to the usurious telecom charges in Canada as my own natural tendencies.
- I can spot even the most innocuous typo at a glance from ten paces.
- I’m working on a secret project that incorporates at least four other items on this list. (Mu-ha-ha-ha-haaa….)
- I have a Rubik’s Snake wrapped around the left front speaker of my stereo to prevent it from crackling; it’s been there for more than fifteen years.
- I have a Mac… which I almost exclusively use through VNC from my GNOME/Fedora desktop.
- I once broke a finger when I punched a clown at an amusement park in Prince Edward Island.
- I still think analog watches are a pretty neat idea.
- I’m told that when I saw Star Wars for the first time, I was creeped out by Threepio and Artoo but not Darth Vader.
- I’ve only been on the campus of my alma mater once since I graduated.
- I own two inverted world maps.
- I find it much easier to promote others than myself.
- I’m fascinated by process, often more than by the result.
- A large majority of the people who inspire me are women, and I’m fortunate to count many of them as friends.
And a bonus 26th random thing: it’s taken me two full weeks to finish this list.
Twitter packet loss
Massive packet loss between Bell and Twitter has been happening consistently for over a week now, between about 8pm and 1am Eastern. Current stats from mtr:
Packets Pings
Host Loss% Snt Last Avg Best Wrst StDev
[...]
8. 63.147.58.110 0.0% 136 85.5 110.0 73.3 204.3 30.9
9. 199.16.159.41 91.0% 135 537.7 440.4 83.8 2041. 540.1
Still having exactly the same issue at exactly the same times. status.twitter.com has nothing. It’s either Qwest (the 63.x hop) or Twitter itself (the 199.x hop).
The ing is a fin
IDS
EAT
FREE
Letter Sweep
Explanation. List:
- St. [A]idan’s Church, where I recently saw Amber Cunningham and Paul Grambo perform a concert combining music by Elvis Costello and Cole Porter.
- [B]uddies in Bad Times Theatre, where I’m going to see Evalyn Parry’s show SPIN.
- [C]hapters/Indigo, a bookstore where I had been trying to place an order.
- The Pidgin changelog on their [d]eveloper site.
- A recent event that had been posted on [E]ventBrite.
- [F]uture Shop. Looking for a replacement for my increasingly-crappy Harmony remote.
- The [G]rand Theatre, grand dame of London’s theatre venues.
- Twitter’s [H]ome page. Curiously, about three quarters of the suggested ‘H’ links are to Twitter.
- [I]nternational Theatre Institute, most widely known for starting World Theatre Day and promoting each year’s event with a message. I’m a co-presenter of London’s first WTD celebrations.
- [j].mp, the URL shortener.
- [K]ristin Sweetland, singer/songwriter/guitarist extraordinaire.
- [L]ondon Fringe Festival. If you’ve been around here at all you know why this one’s here.
- [M]TO, Ontario’s Ministry of Transportation. It’s winter in Canada, and for all its problems the MTO’s road info map is the best resource I’ve found to see if I’ll be able to get where I want to go.
- [N]CIX. Had to replace a faulty RAM stick.
- The National Ballet of Canada’s Toronto performance schedule for [O]negin, which I’m planning to see with a theatre-loving friend.
- DreamHost’s control [p]anel.
- IMDb’s meta-[q]uery page, which I have set up as a keyword.
- [R]CI, home of The Link, which I often hear late at night on CBC Radio 1.
- @[s]oapiest, aka Mikaela Dyke, actor, comedian, artist, activist, you name it. (Just days before she changed her handle.)
- My local install of [T]hinkUp, a personal Twitter metrics tool.
- [u]serstyles.org, a collection of handy user stylesheets for various websites.
- A [V]ideo for Everybody generator. Because
<video>isn’t everywhere yet. - Environment Canada’s weather forecasts. See [M].
- [x]kcd. As in Tim Bray’s original list, ’nuff said.
- [Y]UI 3. Website designs are never finished, only abandoned.
- YouTube; I guess its video IDs tend to include a lot of [z] characters.
Christmastime is here
A pattern for WebStart in Maven
Java WebStart and JNLP can be finicky beasts, especially when paired with Maven-generated websites and artifact repositories. Over the last few months I’ve developed POM and JNLP template patterns that I think are useful when used with the webstart-maven-plugin:jnlp goal; the main advantage is that applications can be WebStarted directly from the repository, which means that the version available is always the latest -SNAPSHOT or release.
In the POM I define two variables, site.baseUrl and artifactUrl. site.baseUrl defines the server and root path where all Maven-generated websites are published; it has a prefix because usually I’d only set it once in the corporate POM. artifactUrl is the full URL of the project-specific website.
By default both site.baseUrl and artifactUrl point to the location where -SNAPSHOT sites are published, usually by a CI system. They’re overridden in two profiles: release switches site.baseUrl to the release website (which is applied to artifactUrl, so there’s no need to set it again), and devel sets artifactUrl to the local target directory (and omits site.baseUrl, which ends up unused).
<project>...<properties> <site.baseUrl>http://repository/snapshot-site/</site.baseUrl> <artifactUrl>${site.baseUrl}/${project.artifactId}</artifactUrl> </properties>...<profiles> <profile> <id>release</id> <properties> <site.baseUrl>http://repository/release-site/</site.baseUrl> </properties> <distributionManagement> <site> <id>release-site</id> <url>dav:${artifactUrl}</url> </site> </distributionManagement> </profile> <profile> <id>devel</id> <properties> <artifactUrl>file://${project.build.directory}</artifactUrl> </properties> </profile> </profiles>...</project>
In the JNLP template, the codebase is set to artifactUrl, which means that the resulting JNLP will retrieve any artifact dependencies from the snapshot, release or local output directories.
<jnlp spec="$jnlpspec" codebase="${artifactUrl}/jnlp/" version="$project.Version" >...</jnlp>
Note that the artifact dependencies still need to be copied into the jnlp directory, which webstart-maven-plugin:jnlp does by default. It would be nice to be able to get them from their canonical locations on the repository, but that’s not easily accomplished.
